A Peephole

Acts 13:47 “I have made you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth.”

This verse has meant a lot to me since I first read it the summer of 2000 while on a mission trip in New Mexico. I didn’t know then that I would one day devote a year to mission work in Brazil.

After I came back from my first mission to Brazil in March of 2006, I had trouble readjusting to life in Upland, IN. I thought about it all the time and would get distracted by pictures on my screensaver, spending time scrolling through all the faces that represented my time at Lar Batista. Over the summer I drove into Chicago to buy some Guarana, a Brazilian soft drink, and barely drank any of it because the taste brought back such powerful memories.

One evening, September 20th, I wondered why I still felt so strongly about Brazil even though all signs pointed to me not going there anytime soon. I wrote this in my journal, “Sometimes I see pictures from Brazil flash on my screensaver and I just get so frustrated. Why do I have over 1,000 pictures of somewhere I stayed for less than 1 week??” I begged God for a glimpse of direction, wondering if my heart would ever find relief or if I should let go.

Just the next night I wrote this, “Tonight I was at work and on my second call I begged God they wouldn’t answer…but they did. Two questions into the conversation, he said to me, ‘Well, I was a missionary in Brazil for 40 years.’ In Londrina, Parana, about 300 miles west of Sao Paulo. Wow. My whole body just had a shot go through it and I knew God had orchestrated that. We talked more about Brazil and it was a great conversation. I told Janell that story and she said, ‘Wow, the Lord is doing something in your life, Christine…but he is being SO mysterious!’”

These verses in Isaiah spoke to me that night, “Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near. ‘As the rain and snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.’” Isaiah 55:6, 10-11

A few days later, on September 25th, I was listening to a Sarah Groves CD during my quiet time. Her song, “Painting Pictures of Egypt” expressed nearly exactly what I had been feeling. “The future feels so hard and I want to go back. But the places that used to fit me cannot hold the things I’ve learned…I was longing for some freedom, but now I hesitate to go. I am caught between the promise and the things I know. If it comes to quick, I may not recognize it. Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?” The next day, I spoke with two people who had lived in Brazil. One taught 4th grade in Sao Paulo for a year and the other worked with OMS in Londrina for 20 years and knew the man I talked to the previous work night! Will someone please tell me the chances of that? Not high. A peephole had been revealed. A small glimpse of my future had been unveiled, as if God decided to show me “Point E” but I was still on “Point A.” I had no idea how to continue.

Thankfully for me, God did.