Changes

Please forgive my long absense. I guess I'm always saying that...but I always have a good excuse, don't I?

Let's start with Friday. Friday was a big enough day to fill a few books. I moved into an apartment and it is gorgeous...pictures to come...however, I am currently at my parents' house because I have to dog-sit and make sure Brian eats real meals. (I have succesfully given him orange juice and grapes and a bagel so far today.) After the big move on Friday I took Joaquim to the airport at 7pm. A stressful, fast goodbye was followed by some "so what now?" tears back at my new home after I unpacked everything...but God is working on some things, that's for sure.

It was a great month having him here. We were busy busy busy with a trip to Iowa and a great time in Memphis, as well as dinners out meeting my friends and trying to find time to just relax. I am always amazed at how much more there is to learn, and how patient the Lord is in teaching us. Great things are always to come!!!

For now I'm trying to master the art of not being lonely. I'm trying to get involved more with church in small groups and choir (hopefully) and keep myself busy and healthy. But as I read this morning, busyness is not the solution to loneliness. GOD is. See, I'm learning? But let's just say I'll be ready for this lesson to end. ; )

Passion

75% of all US presidents were in the bottom half of their class. 50% of CEOs had a C or C- average in college. and 50% of all millionaire entrepreneurs never even went to college. What do they have that so many of us do not?
Passion.

It's interesting that one little word can make people do such crazy and often incredibly impressive things. The more I thought about that today, I realized that the first thing in my life (aside from the Lord) that I can recall feeling REALLY passionate about is Brazil. I remember thinking it was a strange feeling. Like, maybe I was crazy. But it changed the way I approached everything. I became more ambitious and I took more risks, but I would never call myself impulsive. And those are all things these leaders and CEOs and millionaires will probably tell you they did. I still don't know exaaaactly in what capacity I will be in Brazil next, but it is so dear to me.

While I'm in the US, I have been reading A Thousand Splendid Suns...in Portuguese. And I listened to my Portuguese worship mix, so much so that when I get to work I have to force myself to say 'good morning' to Pam instead of 'bom dia.'

Joaquim gets here on FRIDAY. 3 days away!!!!!! And hopefully while he is here, in addition to spending time together and him meeting and getting to know my family (poor guy), we will be talking with the international students director at Harper and really getting the ball rolling. Well, it is rolling, but...Harper doesn't know about that yet. The more I think and pray about that, I just think...God is so good and SO faithful.

This gospel song says it so well.......
"Faithful, faithful, faithful is our God.
I'm reaping the harvest God's promised me
Take back what the devil stole from me
And I will rejoice today, for I shall recover it all!"

I'm happy. I'm so content in my job, and it is challenging and my work is always growing and expanding. I'm excited about moving into a new apartment at the end of April, with such a dear friend. And I am amazed at the miracle that will arrive at O'Hare airport on Friday. Joaquim is such a blessing in my life, and God is so good to be bringing him here to me, when I can't go there. HE has everything planned. I remember praying over my relationship with Joaquim in July 2006...10 months before we even started dating...and I felt then, that even though it seemed crazy to me and looked impossible to the world that I could ever go out with this great guy, that God was just saying "wait just a little...and stop worrying about it." He said that because if He had said "ok, so you'll go to Brazil for 6 months a year from now and you can learn Portguese and live in a new city and then live with Joaquim's family and talk with them over coffee every day. Then when you come home, you'll get a job and move into an apartment with Janell, but before that, Joaquim can visit you for a month and we'll take it from there. How does that sound?" I would have fallen over and/or been committed...in the "mental" sense of the word.

Every April-ish at Taylor I remember feeling like spring is such a lovey-dovey season. And I never had a love...or a dove. Now...well, I just bought some Dove deoderant at Walgreens yesterday, and I will have my love here in April! I'm looking forward to that month.

Hard to wake up...

I admit, I'm blogging from work. Not a big fan, but I am having such a hard time waking up that I figured I would try to jump-start my brain. I also only feel like dusting my desk. We need some swiffer wipes around here.

While we're on the topic of work...it's going wonderfully. I'm still enjoying myself and also enjoying making a to-do list at the end of every day, of things that are accomplishable and also impactful. It's a good feeling. Not a good feeling is the thought that now that 53 is being torn apart by woodfield, thus removing all express lanes, my commute to work from Bloomingdale, home of my new and lovely apartment which I can JUST BARELY afford, will be gas guzzling. (How do you spell that?) I don't even care about the time, I care about the pure gold called gasoline that will be basically dripping out of my tank, all over that thing we in Chicago call an "express" way. Nothing express about it at the moment.

I think I have SAD. Seasonal Affective Disorder. I have always had it, and I have it all year round. If the day is rainy, my productivity and conscious thoughts must be cut literally in half. It is now 9:30 in the morning and the streetlights are still on, because the clouds are so thick that it's barely light out. I think I need a UV light here at my desk.

Let's talk about something sunny. On Sunday, I got baptized. Yea, it was a randomly not random thing. I've been thinking about it for months and months, mostly since I was in Londrina and 3 people asked me when I was baptized (isn't that a strange question to ask someone?) and then were appalled by my answer. I hadn't even thought about baptism until I went to Harvest 2 1/2 years ago and saw some and heard a sermon about it. I couldn't believe that I hadn't set foot in a church that preached about baptism until I was 20 years old. So, after 20 years of rhetoric that told me about infant baptism, it took a couple years to re-wire. I was a little angry about it because I felt like, especially in Londrina, people assumed I wasn't a Christian if I hadn't been baptized. And that is incredibly frustrating. However, thanks to other people (Joaquim, Janell and Alex) who were incredibly patient with me and never pushed me an inch on the subject or in any way discounted the relationship I have had for years with the Lord, but just told me "well...you gotta get baptized. Think about it..." I thought about it. And I decided in December that it was going to happen, I just didn't know when, or where. In Londrina, I would have had to take a 6 month class, called Verdades Básicas. I was "taking" it while I was there, but only 15 out of 20 lessons, and I was really just sitting in, so that didn't count. At Lar, Joaquim taught a baptism class and since I didn't do that, that was that. And I didn't WANT to take a class about baptism, or about basic truths. I didn't like the implication that my lack of being dunked under water suddenly rendered me very immature and unknowledgeable. So, that was why this Sunday at Harvest when Pastor James MacDonald said "you don't need a class, just get up here" I was interested.

More than interested, I knew it was definitely the time. My heart would have flown out of my chest and just thrown itself into the water if I hadn't taken my body with it. So for people who were like "what, you got baptized? Hey, cool!" or for my Lutheran family who may be thinking, "yea, I remember when you were baptized on August 18th, 1985...I was there..." it was a process of 6 months where I dug through my heart and prayed a lot about this. And Sunday just opened up an opportunity that I couldn't wait for.

It turned out to be incredible timing, as can be attested by a prayer made in São Paulo on March 2nd, that I was unaware of...but that's really a story for another time.

Small Acts

I have had one thought in my head for the last few days. "Changing the world one small act of kindness at a time." Today I saw my weekly quote in my dayplanner and it of course went right along with this, which actually is the theme of the movie Evan Almighty.
Put your heart, mind, intellect, and soul even to your smallest acts. This is the secret of success. -Swami Sivananda

I watched Evan Almighty on Friday night with my little brother...he complained, but it turned out to be a sweet movie. Similar to its prequel, Bruce Almighty, it was of course far-fetched, but in the end everything really made sense. It was fascinating. And I am always impressed by the way they portray God, or Morgan Freeman. While capturing God's character by dressing a man in white and making him omnipotent and all those other "omni"s is obviously impossible, the aspects of Him that a human can portray were really well done. I especially liked the part where Morgan Freeman is talking to Joan, Evan's wife, in a diner, dressed as a waiter named Al Mighty, and he mentions something to her, in casual conversation, that brought her to tears. That is really how the Lord speaks to our hearts. There are moments in our normal days where something shines out as being SO intensely personal and purposeful that we can't deny its divine source. I love those moments.

I had one of them yesterday. I decided to go to Harvest Bible Chapel...by myself. Not a lot of fun, and it just made me even more sick of this whole "being alone" business and made me miss Joaquim even more, if possible. But even though I forgot that the clocks moved ahead 1 hour on Sunday, i woke up at 10:30 and quickly got ready for an 11:15 service because I was committed to trying my best to make this church my home. It's big, and that's daunting, but I'm not going to say I didn't try. I love the messages, and I really just wanted to give it my best shot. So I went, I parked a mile away, walked inside, saw a row whose middle was open, and excused myself to squeeze past 2 women, a woman and her daughter. I sat down next to the daughter, who reminded me of a girl at Taylor that I had the misfortune of having French with once, with one seat in between us. Then she leaned over and asked, "excuse me, did you used to go to Souled Out?" And then I recognized her.

I don't think I have ever had a real conversation with Sarah, but after going to the same small church community for a few years and having lots of mutual friends, there is already a good foundation. So I scooted over to sit next to her, so grateful to just not be hanging by myself at church. That's now how church should be... Afterwards, I chatted with her and her mom for a little bit and we just decided to head to Panera. We talked for over an hour, and I was so blessed by them. They bought me lunch, listened to all my crazy stories, and shared with me. Who knew I would have gone to a church as enormous as Harvest and sat next to someone I didn't realize I knew and then had a great conversation with them over lunch? So I guess I should keep going to church there, even on days when I have no one to go with. And believe me, I can't wait to bring Joaquim there. Sheesh, maybe someday he'll be around to go with me every Sunday. That would be a dream.

On a less philosophical subject, I guess I'm truly an adult or something, because I signed a lease for an apartment with my dear friend Janell last Monday. It's in Bloomingdale, and it's a really great place...we're not moving in until April 26th though because Joaquim will be here until then, and I defintely need to save up some money. We have no furniture. I think I'll have a bed and a nice closet. Other than that, I have yet to go to IKEA.

VISA!

HE GOT IT!!!

Thanks for your prayers! He got a 30 day visa and will be here from March 28th until April 25th.

YESSSS!!

The garden...

I bet if Jesus had tylenol pm back in his day, he wouldn't have stayed up all night praying and swaeting blood in the Garden of Gethsemane. However, thanks to modern over the counter medication, I slept like a baby last night, waking up throughout the morning to pray. I would have loved to see a videotape of me sleeping, because I would literally start awake at 6, 7:30, 8, and say a mumbled, sleepy prayer before falling back into a slightly medicated stupor.

So I should hear in about 30 minutes, somehow...not sure if Joaquim is going to call me or get to a computer, so I am just on the alert and have the volume turned up all the way.

If I had to guess...I would say that I have a good feeling about it. This morning I got a little worried and began to pray, plead really, that it would all work out and a verse popped into my head before I could even finish my sentence.

"For as the rain and snow fall from heaven and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." - Isaiah 55:10-11

That is not only encouraging to me in my hopes that God is in on this and it's not just us trying and hoping in vain, but it also humbled me to read. Because our lives are more than our wants and desires. They are God's plans for us. While I am happy to be dating Joaquim and glad that God has worked it out so far for us to be together, in a way that never would have happened on its own, because HE worked it out, we are ultimately His servants. Our lives are truly not our own, and his purposes and desires are beyond our understanding. The best that we can do is surrender everything to him and rejoice in whatever the outcome may be, because we know it is the outcome that the Lord executed. HIS word will not return to HIM empty. It may bless us along the way, but ultimately, it is His and is part of a much larger plan than we could ever understand.
(Comparing it to rain and snow proves that, because I never really understood that precipitation cycle in high school biology.)

peanut butter crackers

Life is ridiculous.

If someone had told me two weeks ago that I would be feeling this way on Wednesday, February 27th, I would have said they were crazy.

Two weeks ago, I was in Assis Chateaubriand, basking in the Brazilian summer, and running late for church. I typed up a testimony to share and Joaquim was frantically correcting my simple translation attempt. We had some hurried coffee as the sun poured in through the kitchen window, cooking whoever sat in its path, and then jumped into the car at 7pm, just when church was supposed to start. Knowing me, I forgot the testimony at Raquel's house, sitting in her printer, and of course couldn't deliver it without my handy Portuguese paper. So we hopped in another car and ran back for the paper and got to church just in time. We sang a song and then I spoke, once again crying and I was very emotional through the whole service. That evening was my last night before I left, and after sharing a little about myself and my experience there, I had the strange feeling that everyone suddenly liked me a little bit more. It was a relief to know that people had truly seen my heart, maybe through my tears, and also ironic that those things always seem to happen the day before I leave somewhere. The last time, I was like "wait just a second..." about a certain young man, and that seemed to work out pretty well. : )

Anyway. Today I'm in Palatine, IL, and there is snow up against the house. I'm working at Warm Blankets Orphan Care, once again, much to the surprise of Janet, the woman who told me in August that she wouldn't get rid of my application file because she knew I'd come back. I laughed and said no way at the time...and now I'm in for good. So far, it is a different job than I was doing before, in a great way.

As for those peanut butter crackers...well, that is my new outlook on life. Let me explain.
While working for a non-profit organization, there is a lot of great self-validation that goes on during the workday. Like, wow, I'm doing something that matters to someone. However, when you get home in the evenings and open the refrigerator, you realize that what you're doing doesn't matter very much to your life. This is always a challenge, but I recieved a funny and strangely encouraging text message last night from my dear friend and future apartment-mate Janell. It simply said, "peanut butter crackers," which is apparently all we will be eating, on our floor, because we won't be able to afford food OR furniture. Now every time I talk budgets with my dad or look at how much cell phone plans cost or try to change my car insurance to my name, I just think...peanut butter crackers. A great source of protein and carbohydrates, so it's a full meal, and what in the world do I have to complain about? I'm not seeing anything.

God has also blessed me already with an incredible peace about Friday's visa result, which is now less than 48 hours away. He is so good, and who am I to think He doesn't know what He's doing? Basically, I'm done worrying about that. I'm just done.
However, stopping worrying doesn't mean stopping praying! So I would appreciate all of your prayers for me and for Joaquim on Friday morning, and I can't wait to give you the news! He will be overwhelmed with people wanting to meet him in April, so I'd get your name in now if you want an appointment. : )

Great is Thy Faithfulness

I may be home from Brazil, but this business of trusting God is never-ending...and let's be honest, I am definitely going back to Brazil someday, so I can't stop my journey of waiting and praying and working towards that. And now, I am once again in a position of blind trust, as we are waiting to hear on Friday if Joaquim will be awarded a tourist visa to come visit for the month of April.

In thinking on that, I have been reminded a lot in the last few days all that God has done for us and for me in my Brazilian escapades already. I remembered when I was waiting for my visa, and today I actually read my blog from that time. I am feeling similarly, and worrying the same things, and God is telling me the same things. He has proven to me time and time and time again that He is making a way. Even, where there seems to be no way. It's not a cliche or an old song. It's true.

Remember when I renewed my visa in November, and I didn't have a document that I needed? I thought I threw it away. It was the entry slip that customs gives you and stamps, as well as stamping your passport. Well, I didn't have it, and it is required to do any sort of visa renewal. But, God provided a friend who did it anyway, trusting me. Then when I left the country, a woman asked me for tha tpiece of paper. I just said I didn't have it...then she took my passport and first flipped to my 2006 visa. She looked confused, and I directed her to the next page. She saw my 2007 visa. She nodded, then saw that it was issued in July and was for 90 days, and looked confused. I once again directed her to the next page, and then she nodded like "ooooook, good..." She stamped the passport and said thank you, and I was on my way. Legal, stamped, not in trouble and it was fine. I sat down at my gate and was looking for something in my laptop case...I found the jacket for my ticket from August. And inside of it was that silly entry slip. The moment before I left the country, after I'd gone through the exit process. I couldn't help but laugh. The Lord hid that from me just to show off and show me how He COULD maneuver me through everything that would come my way. He IS bigger than that. And He is big enough to get Joaquim a visa too.

So, that is Friday at 9am in Sao Paulo...6am Central time...he'll have an interview proving that he won't stay here forever illegaly, and hopefully it will result in a stamp at the end that says he can come visit. It would be an incredible answer to prayer, and hopefully the beginning of many more things...but it's always a test of trust and a lesson in faith. 2 of the most obnoxious things to learn. Patience is also constant company, and among all of those, I will either go crazy or become a saint. We'll see...

Some pictures

I'm currently in Washington DC with my family, here for a long weekend...it's really a good de-briefing time for me I think, otherwise I would be too overwhelmed with life. However, I definitely am not a big fan of the thought that I have to jump into life with both feet forward now. But, meetings are being scheduled, things are being planned, and moving on feels good sometimes. Only sometimes.

Back

So...I'm home, alive and well. It was the saddest goodbye and hardest day of my life...but I made it.

Will write a real update later, but just wanted to let you all know.

I'm leaving tomorrow morning for Washington DC, and then will be back to reallllllly settle in on Tuesday. I might have a garage sale or go crazy on ebay, because I'm realizing that my room is full of stuff I NEVER use, and I barely have room to unpack. Anyone want to buy books, ugly clothes, or a picture frame or something? I'm your girl.

TOEFL, gray hairs, and why they are related

I currently write to you from the city hall of Assis Chateaubriand, where I am apparently allowed to use Joaquim´s computer and the internet. Well...as you may have remembered, the TOEFL results were updated online today. Joaquim woke up from a dream at like 5:30am...he was dreaming that someone from the US handed him a stack of papers. And on top of them all was a stamp. He couldn´t read it, but he knew the idea of what it said. It said he was denied, and that this wasn´t the way for him to go. Right at that moment, he woke up with a start and went straight to the computer. There he saw his score, after some struggling with passwords...he needed a 75-79, if you recall...and he got a 62. Guhhhhh. He came to my window at 5:45am to tell me. It´s still settling in, because I don´t even know how it´s POSSIBLE. Like, he got a 66 the first time he took it in July of 2006. And his English has greatly improved since then. Greatly. So...I don´t get it. But it´s the way it is.

As of now, I don´t know what the plan is to approach the rest of the situation. Isaac said his dad wants to pay for Joaquim to take it again. But he doesn´t want to take itbecause he´s sick of not passing, and nothing much is going to change in such a short time. I kind of agree. I really don´t know what is going to happen. Maybe a visit to Christine in April if he doesn´t get in. He´s still sending everything to Moody, regardless of the fact that he didn´t get the score he needed...but...well, you know. Lots and lots of prayers and any suggestions in a moment of brilliance would be appreciated.

Anyway.............

Yesterday was kind of a fast day. Joaquim couldn´t come home for lunch, and he got back at like 6:30 or 7pm because they had to pay basically everyone at the city hall yesterday before 5. Sheesh. So, for me the day was slow...spent with Alex and Jorge following me around, but it was ok. When he got back we had some late coffee and talked with Mãe, Pai, Luis (the oldest brother) and his wife. It was interesting, because I `met´ Luis, when I spoke no Portuguese, at Acácia´s wedding in December of 2006. He stayed at Ryan Anderson´s house where we hung out afterwards. And he, trying to remember who I was, said that he remembered me and another girl talking about who liked Joaquim more. This was truly ridiculous, because no one knew I liked him. So I said `ahhhh no, I didn´t tell anyone that I liked him...` and then Mãe piped in and said `oh yea, you were nice and quiet, but I noticed, did you know that?´ Apparently when I went to Grace´s house with some other girls from my Brazil team in May of 2006, she noticed there and told Grace that ´that one there who is going to be a journalist´ liked Joaquim. It was kind of funny to hear about that.

On a completely unrelated, and perhaps distressing note...in the time that I have been in Brazil, I gained 2 gray hairs. It´s a shame that I´m a real fan of my hair color, because in just a few short years it will be fake. Thanks mom.

melting iron

The best thing about carnaval wasn't having to cover my eyes while watching the news, but it was having 4 1/2 days of rest and relaxation with Joaquim. It began with a barbeque on Friday night and ended last night by going out to dinner with some of the people around here.

Sunday was incredibly relaxing, in the best way. After church I came back and went straight to bed for almost 2 hours because of a very short night the day before. When I came staggering out of my room around 1, it was time for lunch, and after that I brought my blanket outside on the grass, covered by the shade of the palm tree and another giant tree of some tropical-ish variety. With the breeze, I hardly noticed the upper-80's degree heat. I played a few games of chess with Joaquim, which I lost terribly because I believe my brain is entirely incapable of strategizing. Joaquim's however, is very able, and thus he continued to beat me and later complained that he wished he had had to try harder. I informed him that's not really something you should say to someone. Haha.

The rest of Sunday was beautiful, I sang in church with Jorge, a friend here at Lar who has a fabulous voice, and had been asking me all week to teach him "The Power of Your Love." Well, he learned it and we sang it on Sunday night. I was a little wary of singing again in church because a few weeks ago a girl sang a song and Pai was saying later at dinner that it was awful, that he only likes a few hymns...therefore I was a little wary of singing again. However, much to my great joy, he actually congratulated me and Jorge for singing such a beautiful song, said that he liked it a lot, and that even though he couldn't understand the words, being in English, he felt like he could. Everyone commented later about how rare that is, so I was very blessed to have been able to bless him that way.

The rest of the few days were spent playing games with more visitors, playing with more kids, watching Casino Royale, which was once again a great movie, and Joaquim is now obsessed with it, going out to Japanese for lunch on Monday, going out to dinner on Sunday, lots of activity and laughing and fun.

Yesterday morning, on a more serious note, I read something interesting in My Utmost for His Highest. Oswald Chambers talked about how we need to put our lives, our wills, everything on the altar, and only after being refined through fire are we ready to withstand anything. A line that caught my attention was "don't complain when the fire starts." So many times we say ohhhh yes, Lord you can have this, blah blah blah. Because we know in our minds that He actually knows what He's doing, and that it will be the best for us. But when we actually start to see what that "best" is...we're not too happy, especially with the process. I realized that I was starting to feel the fire getting hotter and hotter. Starting to think about not knowing when I will be back here next, or rather when I will be with Joaquim next, I'm feeling the fire. We're both feeling it. But I had a thought.
Say you have two pieces of iron. What do you do to put them together?
Throw them in the fire, then take them out and hammer them to oblivion...or something like that.
But after that, can you take them apart?
Nope.

On a lighter note, returning again. One thing I've noticed at Lar is that teasing is often much meaner than I'm used to. However, I can't deny that it's hilarious. For instance, João Paulo is very overweight because his mom gave him medicine to gain weight when he was a baby, and gave him a year's dose in a month. So now he's here at Lar and has already lost 6 kilos, but still he's a bit blubbery. While playing soccer, people (meaning my boyfriend) yell "let's use João Paulo as the backup ball!" Or while driving with a tire that is going flat people (once again, my boyfriend) yell "don't worry, we have a spare tire...João Paulo." It made me think that Americans are often very oversensitive. Thinking that teachers can't give a child a bad grade because it might hurt their fragile ego. Not so here, these kids have egos harder than rocks.

Well, I'm not sure what else I wanted to say in this terribly unorganized and stream of consciousness entry. But it's true that I'm leaving 1 week from today, and I'm not exactly happy about that. What to do, what to do...

American Ice

This morning/afternoon I decided to lay back and be American. Sometimes I get tired of cultural differences and trying to be respectful, so today I felt lazy. For instance, this morning I was planning my schedule for the day, something my boyfriend rarely, if ever, does. As he sat listening to Pai and an admiring visitor from Sao Paulo talking about any and everything, my mind was on laundry, a shower, and how I could best achieve both of those things in the least amount of time. I decided I could throw my laundry in the machine while leaving Joaquim to talk, or rather listen, and return to take a shower and be done with both by the time anyone even noticed. And then I remembered I was at Lar Batista.

When I finally convinced Joaquim to walk down to his house to open doors for me, considering everything here is under lock and key, the laundry room was already quite occupied. So my promised, "it will just be 5 minutes..." was already broken. Whoops. After about 20 minutes of chatting, once again I looked at the laundry room and put my clothes in the machine. After about 30 minutes I checked and realized it hadn't been filling up, just water flowing through. So finally, after I put everything where it needed to be, it started to wash. I then got involved in looking at stuff about Moody and financial aid and student visas and I-20 forms online with Joaquim, and eventually left to go take a shower. When I returned, I was walking through the front yard and felt a bee land on my forearm, sting me, and fly away. I have no idea what I did to provoke such a thing, but I had been stung. I arrived in the house, desiring the one thing every American "needs" after basically any injury: ICE.

I remember when I was still living in Londrina...Joaquim visited and we were making chocolate chip cookies. He burned his finger taking a cookie sheet out of the oven, and it got a little swollen and red. What is my first reaction? Naturally, run it under freezing cold water and if necessary, procure some ice and a plastic bag or a rag with which to hold it. When I said that, he looked and me and said "that's such an American thing to say..." and proceeded to rub a piece of his hair between his fingers, one burnt and the other not. This, apparently, was supposed to cure his burn. So, after his remedy, I instituted mine, and all was right with the world. I also forced some ice on him a few days ago when he had 3 blisters on the palm of his hand, and he admitted with some surprise that it really worked. Of course, ice is the miracle curer.

So, now my arm has been iced, I have taken a shower, and my clothes are just finishing the spin cycle in the washer, soon to be hung in the hot sun that is shining so brightly today.

I am a very bad blogger...

Oh my gosh, it has been 20 days since I updated. And I am leaving here 2 weeks from tomorrow.

Instead of trying to sum up the last 20 days, which would be no less than incredibly overwhelming...I think I will just pretend I have been writing avidly all this time, apologize to my grandmother who has probably been wondering why I wasn't updating, and tell you about the last couple days. So here I go.

Believe it or not, on Monday it was cold here. I'm not sure what the exact temperature was...but probably below 20C, if that means anything to anyone. Out of character for January, and really unexpected by me. One thing I have come to realize is that being from the US where everything is airconditioned when it's hot outside and heated when it's cold, I am used to a very maintained temperature. My body rarely has to adjust to severe temperatures, because everywhere is a pleasant 68 degrees...or 65 if you live at my house. (please turn the heat up when I come home, otherwise it is just cruel.) So when the temperature took a dip for the day here, I was absolutely freezing, while everyone else merely put on a coat or a sweatshirt and continued traipsing around in their flip flops. My feet were practically falling off they were so cold. After a little grumpiness on my part because I of course didn't bring sufficient clothing for such weather, the evening ended with a cozy movie about barnyard animals that could stand on 2 feet, and some delicious popcorn that José made. It was seriously so good. My love for popcorn was so apparent in my mood shift that Joaquim actually told José, "I think it was just you that made my girlfriend happy today, because without this popcorn, she wouldn't have been." True.

I guess I should give honorable mention to a few things...Joaquim took the TOEFL on the 18th and will get the results on Feb. 8th. That is also the day that I was supposed to leave, but I changed my tickets to make me leave on the 14th. That is the last day my visa is valid, and I leave the country at 11-something pm. Stretching it to the limit, that's how I like to do things.

Currently, Joaquim and I are thinking and praying about the opportunity for him to visit me in the spring. Basically, here are the issues...he has already been denied a tourist visa once, for reasons so ridiculous I can feel my blood pressure rise just thinking about them. And if he is denied another one for similarly ridiculous reasons, which is an unfortunate possibility, it will be very difficult for him to get a student visa.

(interlude: José just looked at me and said, very calmly, "voce tem uma barate debaixo do seu pé." This means...you have a cockroach underneath your foot. It is thankfully dead. Yikes.)

Anyway, everything would be great for Joaquim's visit except for this tourist visa issue. If anyone has any experience with the American consolate in São Paulo, or better yet any friends who work there, haha...I would welcome suggestions. The current idea is to write Moody asking for them to write a letter inviting him to see their school, since he has already applied. And if he passes the TOEFL (which I think he will) he can show that as well...I don't know, there are just a lot of things the consolate needs to see to be sure he has a good reason to go, and also that he will come back to Brazil. Of course he will, he would never stay illegaly in the US, but how to prove that...I have no idea. Any help?

Also of note is that Alex visited for a week a couple weeks ago. It was a fantastic time, thankfully restful for her, and hilarious for me, and she was able to meet and get to know Joaquim, and us as a couple. It was a lot of fun. He won her heart when he gave her an envelope and said "this is for you." When she opened it, a contraption made of a paperclip and a rubber band flew out at her, making a loud noise and she threw the envelope in the air, screamed, and then cracked up. So, he passed the test after that point.

That's all for now...I'll try to write a little something tomorrow, just to keep this going. Sorry for letting it go so long!

Joshua

True friendship is visiting me in Brazil for a week. This is Alexandra Elizabeth Fillmore, who is leaving tomorrow and arriving on Sunday here in Brazil. I am looking forward to it so much, to say the least. There will be lots of laughing and catching up, and I will take full advantage of the fact that most people don't understand English. Always a fun trick.

This week has been pretty fun. To be honest I'm not remembering Monday very well, but on Tuesday we went to Joaquim's aunt's house for an impromtu visit and were thereafter chatted with for a few hours, fed cake and coke and some chicken pie thing which was delicious, and then went for a dip in their swimming pool, wearing borrowed clothes. After that we watched a movie with his cousin Carol, and got back around 1am. We were just planning to drop by for coffee. It was really nice, and always refreshing to have a change of scenery.

On Saturday night we went to this great new restaurant in town. It's just a little sit in place with coffee and salgadinhos and cake, and it was so cute. Very cozy, and very air conditioned. That is a rare commodity here. Joaquim cracks me up on a regular basis with his love for air conditioning. He has admitted on more than one occasion that he prefers to hang out at work because his office is air conditioned.

This afternoon is pretty warm and lazy. I'm doing some laundry, and soon to come is a trip to the supermarket. Really fascinating.

Lately I've been reading Joshua. I'm also reading Numbers, and it's funny to see how they sometimes repeat themselves. In Numbers, Moses was just sending out some people to scout out the new land they were waiting to get their hands on, and everyone was freaking out. Talking about how they're sick of manna and want to go back to Egypt because they had such great food there (doubtful) and how they were going to die in Canaan or in the desert on their way, so they might as well go back (a fate that would end in death as well, and probably far less pleasant.) It seems people haven't changed since then, because big changes are still terrifying. In Joshua, they have just gotten to Canaan and are working on taking out all of their enemies. Little Israel is fighting against tons of nations who have been there much longer than them and are much bigger and stronger, but the Lord is taking care of them, doing things like hailing on people and confusing people so they start running around aimlessly, therefore becoming easier targets. But in nearly every chapter, God speaks to Joshua telling him not to be afraid. "Be strong and courageous." Because He is going to give everything into his hand.

I'm facing those same sorts of fears lately. Even having some ideas and some possibilities when I go home...a job, a roommate (evetually), a life...I'm not sure if I'm ready for it yet. It has been a month today since I left Londrina. It feels longer and shorter, in a way. I feel like I've been here for longer because I'm comfortable, but it feels shorter because the time flew by, just like my time in Londrina flew.

Now I have a few days to enjoy and then a week with Alex, and Joaquim is getting ready for the TOEFL, and then there will be 3 weeks of trying to squeeze the juice out of every moment...then I go home, take my sweaters out of storage, and get going, once again.

Christmas and New Years in Brazil

Once again I am so late in updating. And the holidays have come and gone. Maybe I didn't notice or feel the need to write too much because it didn't feel too much like the holidays. But it was a great time, especially on New Year's. I definitely prefered that to Christmas here.

On Christmas, we had a picnic outside, with watermelon and ice cream. Does that make sense to anyone? Certainly not me. When I think of Christmas, I remember quiet, and dark, watching a movie with my family, opening presents with music playing in the background...preferably something cheesy by Amy Grant or Steve Green. And this Christmas was truly "green and bright." It was very different, but fun in its own rights. We went to church on Christmas Eve and afterwards everyone from church came to Lar for a party. It wasn't really a dinner, just little finger food, called "salgadinhos" which basically means little salty things. So that was fun, loud and crazy. Then on Christmas we slept in, Joaquim and I talked with my family through webcam at 1 and watched them open presents...people were crowding around the webcam here to see the snow that was on the ground in Palatine. Then we had a big picnic lunch...rice, steak, chicken, salad, coke, guaraná, and then watermelon and ice cream. After lunch we opened presents which was hilarious because all the kids got something, so Mãe was throwing presents at everyone. Literally.

On New Years, I had a lot more fun. We went to church and had a nice service to enter the new year. Lots of singing, testimonies about what God had done the last year, and we spent the last few minutes of last year and the first few of this year praying, while we heard fireworks and people yelling. I sort of missed the tv countdown and yelling "happy new year!" but actually prefered this. It was nice to be with lots of people, to hug literally everyone and wish them a happy new year, whether you know them or not, etc. It was a great time, then we went back for another party with salgadinhos and lots of people, and stayed up late singing and watching movies. After going to bed at 5:15am, I woke up late the next day for yet another barbeque and more ice cream. That's something I could easily get used to. ; ) That was a lot of fun, I guess because my New Years traditions aren't as strong as my Christmas ones.

So, all in all, it was a great time. I really wished my family had been here, and thought about it a lot, but all is well.

As we came into the new year...it brought some stress with it. Knowing I'm going home soon and not knowing what will happen after that, it's not easy. Joaquim is going to take the TOEFL test, and English test he will need to get into Moody, where he is working on applying, on January 18th. There are lots of "if...then..."s to come, which makes my life feel like a "choose your own adventure" book. I always hated those books.