peanut butter crackers

Life is ridiculous.

If someone had told me two weeks ago that I would be feeling this way on Wednesday, February 27th, I would have said they were crazy.

Two weeks ago, I was in Assis Chateaubriand, basking in the Brazilian summer, and running late for church. I typed up a testimony to share and Joaquim was frantically correcting my simple translation attempt. We had some hurried coffee as the sun poured in through the kitchen window, cooking whoever sat in its path, and then jumped into the car at 7pm, just when church was supposed to start. Knowing me, I forgot the testimony at Raquel's house, sitting in her printer, and of course couldn't deliver it without my handy Portuguese paper. So we hopped in another car and ran back for the paper and got to church just in time. We sang a song and then I spoke, once again crying and I was very emotional through the whole service. That evening was my last night before I left, and after sharing a little about myself and my experience there, I had the strange feeling that everyone suddenly liked me a little bit more. It was a relief to know that people had truly seen my heart, maybe through my tears, and also ironic that those things always seem to happen the day before I leave somewhere. The last time, I was like "wait just a second..." about a certain young man, and that seemed to work out pretty well. : )

Anyway. Today I'm in Palatine, IL, and there is snow up against the house. I'm working at Warm Blankets Orphan Care, once again, much to the surprise of Janet, the woman who told me in August that she wouldn't get rid of my application file because she knew I'd come back. I laughed and said no way at the time...and now I'm in for good. So far, it is a different job than I was doing before, in a great way.

As for those peanut butter crackers...well, that is my new outlook on life. Let me explain.
While working for a non-profit organization, there is a lot of great self-validation that goes on during the workday. Like, wow, I'm doing something that matters to someone. However, when you get home in the evenings and open the refrigerator, you realize that what you're doing doesn't matter very much to your life. This is always a challenge, but I recieved a funny and strangely encouraging text message last night from my dear friend and future apartment-mate Janell. It simply said, "peanut butter crackers," which is apparently all we will be eating, on our floor, because we won't be able to afford food OR furniture. Now every time I talk budgets with my dad or look at how much cell phone plans cost or try to change my car insurance to my name, I just think...peanut butter crackers. A great source of protein and carbohydrates, so it's a full meal, and what in the world do I have to complain about? I'm not seeing anything.

God has also blessed me already with an incredible peace about Friday's visa result, which is now less than 48 hours away. He is so good, and who am I to think He doesn't know what He's doing? Basically, I'm done worrying about that. I'm just done.
However, stopping worrying doesn't mean stopping praying! So I would appreciate all of your prayers for me and for Joaquim on Friday morning, and I can't wait to give you the news! He will be overwhelmed with people wanting to meet him in April, so I'd get your name in now if you want an appointment. : )