"Yes" in Christ

The other day I was reading in Mark about two different people who asked for miracles from Jesus...he granted both of their requests, but they asked in different ways, so his response was different both times. First was the healing of the bleeding woman and then of the synagogue ruler's daughter.

The woman who had been suffering bleeding for 12 years came up to Jesus sheepish and ashamed. She was lost in the crowd, but she had faith that he could heal her, so she reached through dozens of arms and legs all reaching for Jesus to touch his cloack. Sometimes I picture her as being so small compared to everyone else. You can't see her head above anyone else's, and she nearly has to crawl to get through. I see her fingers stretching as she is a few people behind Jesus, reaching desperately to touch him. And the instant she does, he wonders what happened. He can't see her because she is so small, but when she comes closer to him and admits that it was her who touched him, he says to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you." I wonder if he held her close to him as a father would a daughter, and pressed a kiss onto her head, having to bend down because she was so small, tenderly like a father would. I love to picture it like that...

The second miracle in Mark 5 was when Jesus raised the synagogue ruler's daughter to life. The man was waiting for Jesus, hoping he could ask him to heal his daughter while she was still living. But then his servants came to him and told him not to bother Jesus, because his daughter was dead. Jesus overheard this and told Jairus, "Don't be afraid, just believe." This man obviously had a different approach from the woman. He wasn't afraid to ask Jesus when his daughter was living, but once she had died, he didn't think it was appropriate to bother him anymore. That fear came in when Jairus no longer believed Jesus could do anything. But he can always do something.

Sometimes I see myself in the woman...I know God can do what I need Him to do, but I feel as though I don't deserve His attention, so I try and sneak in another way. But the woman had faith that God could do it...the ruler, on the other hand, didn't believe Jesus could heal his daughter after she had died. He thought himself worthy of asking for Jesus' help, but didn't think it was possible for Jesus to help him after a certain point. He didn't have the faith. I see myself in that as well.

Thankfully, in both situations, God was faithful to heal them, in spite of all they lacked in their approaches to Him.

Today in church we talked about 2 Corinthians 1:12-2:11. One verse brought tears to my eyes...
2 Corinthians 1:20 "For no matter how many promises God has made, they are 'Yes' in Christ."
God can't make too many promises that He isn't able to fulfill them...and He has made some promises to me, one in particular, that He WILL be faithful to complete.

Now this is comforting, but as Darren was speaking, my mind was wandering to what I could do these next few months to prove to God that I'm expecting Him to fulfill His promise to make a way to Brazil. I thought, maybe I could give something up...a sacrifice would show Him that I believe Him, right? I was devising a great plan to give up sugar or snacks or something until August. (This would of course have the added benefit of maybe losing a pound or two before I leave.) Yes, that sounded like a wonderful idea.

Then, Darren, the pastor, reminded us of a saying that we believe but that is WRONG: "Pray as if God will do it, but act as if you must." (paraphrased...) We think we should pray as if God is the only one who can help us, but then we need to do everything within our power to help ourselves. Is that not undermining God's sovereignty? To an extent we need to take care of ourselves, etc. but when we cannot do anything, God still can. And He loves us to be in the place where we can't do anything. When we say "whoops, I guess I ran out of things to do...I've got nothin..." God finally says, "Good. Here. ::boom:: Miracle."

It is as if He just patiently waits for us to stop fumbling around, thinking we're going to fix something when really we're miles away from the solution and are just putting tinker toys together. Then when we finally look up, throw down our feeble tools and say "Oh wow. I can't do this," He laughs, says "told you so..." and pulls us up.

So I will continue to wait. Maybe I need to make a few phonecalls, apply for a visa, get a plane ticket, and pursue other things that are required before I leave...but I certainly don't need to prove to God that I've got it under control.
Because you know what? I don't.
Know what else? That's ok.